My Physical Self, My Beauty and Extension of My Sexual Self

                       When we are born, our concept of self is not yet developed. 

The proof is when a person is in babyhood. A baby who looks in a mirror sometimes have a misconception in his/her reflection in the mirror, they think that the image produces in the mirror is a different person. This is because they not yet know the concept of self. 

                  There was also a well-known psychologist named John Locke who explained that the self at first is in a tabula rasa or blank state. We only gain our self-consciousness as we go through different experiences. But at a later age when we get conscious of our environment, we tend to recognize who we are. In short, our self is the product of our knowledge and understanding.

                        

                      Look at the mirror and you will later say something about yourself as you see the reflection of your image on it. We truly give importance to our appearance. Admit it or not we have been at the point of our life wherein we tend to be more conscious of how we appear to others. There is also the time where we look at our self-worth on the appearance we are possessing. We sometimes compare ourselves to others. 

  With this, our self-esteem is affected and connected. How we look at others sometimes define our actions and relations to other people. It is because we value our physical attractiveness.

 We tend to wear ornaments, nurture our genetic make- up (like coloring the hair), put make- up in our faces, and many more. Because these things give us an aesthetic feeling.  

Our physical self is indeed part of our self-concept. We have different perspectives of beauty because beauty varies by culture and one’s way of seeing it. We should not doubt and judge ourselves because of the unique physical self we have. 

Love YOURSELF!

 Nobody shaming, no to face shaming, always keep in mind our purpose in life and our dreams. Use that as the reason for us to keep ourselves motivated in life. Let’s not put a big deal on how we look. For me to feel confident in what God gave us is the beauty that we should use. At the end of the day, we should realize how can we create our own perspective of self-attractiveness. How do we appear is indeed important, but our life, actions, values, and goodness is much important. We are all humans, have the same needs to survive and differs in a variety of wants, however, we are all equal in the eyes of God. There is also a saying that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder! So it should be it. Just look at it. Our world is the best example of diversity. There are a lot of people in this world and the face or body image that you possess is different from the billions of people living today. Take note every time that we should always encourage, support, and believe in ourselves.

                Moreover, our physical self is not just about the appearance we have because it is also the extension of our sexual self. At birth, we already have the physical characteristics that will define our sexual identity. Our genitals dictate whether we are male or female. But when time passes by, some characteristics develop during the onset of puberty, like hormones produce by the stimulus of our brain like estrogen for females and testosterone for males. Our reproductive system is the main tenet for the production of man.  We also have the erogenous zones that trigger our sexual arousal. But here is the question. How important for us as students to know our erogenous zones? Erogenous zones produce a pleasing feeling on us. Students who start puberty are ready in producing cells needed in producing a man. But our age as a student is not yet ready for the responsibility of rearing children. We cannot effectively function as a student and a parent at the same time. But since there are times and instances that we students are being linked with our opposite sex we should know our erogenous zones, our sexual arousal, to make preventions in rearing a child at an early age. We should have developed our sexual-self because it will help us become aware of the physical body that we have and the connected reactions of it related to our sexual arousal. There is a theory called social exchange theory that explains social behavior is the result of an exchange process. According to this theory, developed by sociologist George Homans, people weigh the potential benefits and risks of social relationships. When the risks outweigh the rewards, people will terminate or abandon that relationship. We should not only use our hearts but let us also use our brains in making decisions related to our social relationships. We should consider weighing things before we act our a certain idea in our minds. 

Robert Sternberg suggests that there are three components of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

❏ Intimacy- refers to the feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness.

 ❏ Passion- refers to the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction and sexual consummation

 ❏ Commitment- refers to the decision to love and the commitment to maintain love.

             These three components of love by Robert Sternberg needs time to develop, so we should not haste in our romantic stage of life.

            Also, nowadays our sexual orientation is not only limited to being male and female. We now have gays, lesbians, bisexuals, pansexuals, queers, asexuals, and heterosexual. 

vGAY

tmblr.com

Used to describe people whose enduring physical, romantic, and/ or emotional attractions are to people of the same gender.

v  BISEXUAL

sexually attracted not exclusively to people of one particular gender; attracted to both men and women.

v  LESBIAN

A woman enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction is to other women.

v  PANSEXUAL (Pan)

A person who can form enduring physical, romantic, or emotional attractions to any person, regardless of gender identity.

v  QUEER

An adjective used by some people, particularly younger people, whose sexual orientation is not exclusively heterosexual.

v  ASEXUAL

An adjective used to describe people who do not experience sexual attraction.

v  HETEROSEXUAL

 A person is attracted to people of the opposite sex.

               Our sexual orientation is our sexual identity that is anchored on what gender we are attracted to. And this is developed through the socio-cultural influence in our sexuality.

❖ INSTITUTIONS

Religious institutions influence our sexual attitudes and sexual guilt. Schools are also a contributory factor in giving knowledge and awareness in the sexual understanding of students.

 ❖ PARENTS

Our parents are the nearest person that can influence our beliefs. As they explain to us the importance of prevention of early parenting or pregnancy, the risk of young adults to do that thing will below.

❖  PEERS                                      

      The behavior of peers has little impact on young children - but the importance of peers shifts at adolescence. Peer influence and positive or negative pressure can be through peer information, peer attitudes, and peer behavior

                So basically our sexual self can also be developed by the environment we are living with. This is just like what Bronfenbrenner explains in his theory of the ecological system of development. It is indeed true that our microsystem environment affects our development. However, there are tendencies that students curiosity deeps. So since they already in touch with the relationship they had in their opposite-sex the tendency that they try sexual intercourse or premarital sex is high will be at high risk. There are reasons that they do this sort of thing.

1.       The education level and work experience of our parents may influence attitudes and present opportunities for sexual activity if our parents are away.

2.       Difficulty in parent-adolescent particularly parent-daughter conversation regarding sexuality seems to have a negative effect on delaying sexual activity. For example, the greater the difficulty, the earlier the initiation of sexual activity

3.       Lack of information about sexual and reproductive health and rights

4.       Child, early, and forced marriage, which can be both a cause and a consequence.

Furthermore, we should also be aware of the sexually transmitted diseases because ignorance of this will lead to death.  There are ways for us to prevent this.

·         Always practice safe sex

o    Use condom correctly and consistently or abstain from intercourse.

·         Know your sexual partners and limit their number!

·          Avoid risky sex practices (anal/oral sex)

o   Sexual acts that tear or break the skin carry a higher risk of STDs

In conclusion, our awareness of our physical and sexual selves is also important. This will help us to take care more about ourselves. Further understanding of our sexual self and physical self will lead to the prevention of high-risk diseases resulting in our healthy sexual and physical health. Our sexual orientation is also a big part of our sense of self. This will help us understand who we are emotionally, physically, and mentally attracted to. This will also give a great impact on the manner of how we behave and act in our environment and in our relationship with others. Your sexuality is central to your self-identity, and not being able to express this is damaging to your sense of self-worth and overall mental health. Support from our family, friends, and teachers will help us nurture this part of our sense of self.